Online Dating – What Do You Do When You Get Rejected?
January 31, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
1. You find someone interesting enough to know even better. The feeling is reciprocated.
2. You can’t find anyone interesting at all, and that feeling is also reciprocated.
3. You find someone interesting, but they are not showing any indication of any interest to communicate with you whatsoever. This outcome also works in reverse, someone might find you interesting but you do not seem to share that interest or at the very least, curiosity to initiate a chat.
Do you find playing the online dating game like this exciting or challenging at best? Or rather, do you find that these outcomes are too realistically biased toward the third outcome and depressing at most? What do you, when you do not belong to the “…and they lived happily ever after” end of the spectrum?
I know that this can be a very emotional time, and it is best to sort through all the feelings involved and get two known facts straight.
1. FACT: A rejection does not necessarily mean something is wrong with you.
2. FACT: Life goes on and you must take the next steps.
Let us go through these facts one at a time.
A rejection does not necessarily mean something is wrong with you. So you have sent out feelers, winks or even some sort of messages and you get no responses. There a whole gamut of reasons why someone will not reciprocate. One of these might be the timing. Perhaps, they have just met someone whom they feel might lead on to something. It could also be that they are going through a stage in their careers or extended families that they are prevented from attending to personal matters in the meantime. There also exists the possibility that they just might have to attend more personal matters like health or areas in their personal finances. I could go on, but you get the idea. Try thinking in terms of the other person’s perspective a few times, and tell yourself that it is not that personal. Again, a rejection does not mean something is wrong with you. It may be that there is a lot going on in their side of the fence right now.
It does sound trite, but it is a fact. Life does go on. You just have to undertake some steps. This does not include bombarding them with messages as to why they did not contact you. Leave them alone and move on. In the meantime, take stock of what can be improved based on experience. Consider updating your profile picture with a better one. Build a more fit physique. Eat healthier. Get advice from fashionable people as to what looks good on you and dress appropriately. Do something you enjoy, like a hobby and be very good at it. Practice on relating with other people by focusing on them in conversations and not on your own interests. In time, you will be somebody’s prized catch.
Dating After a Separation
January 29, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
There is nothing harder than the end of a relationship. Nothing that is except resuming the dating life after a separation. Your friends will try to get you out on that first date too soon, and unless your family truly hated your spouse, will try to make you wait far too long. That first date is a killer, I know, but it must be done. There are just a few things to keep in mind before heading back out in the dating world.
First, make sure that you are moving at your own pace. No one expects you to walk out of a long term relationship without some emotional scars. Dating after a separation has to be about healing and that takes time. Let yourself mope and cry if that is what you need to do. Only you can decide when you are ready to move on.
Now, here is a tip that might make you think I have lost my mind, but bear with me, I do have a point. Do not turn down dates when you finally do get back out in the world. No, I do not advocate dinner and movies with any Joe Schmo that asks you to go, but going out to coffee is good practice. Yes, practice. Get out there and learn what you like and do not like, personality wise. Once you figure out what items are on the positive check list, you can go out and start looking for them!
Don’t try to find a replacement for your ex. That relationship failed for a reason, you know. Going on a lot of dates will also open your eyes to the veritable buffet of available singles out there, and the more dates that you do go on, the more likely you will see that you do not have to settle for less than the very best. Maybe you thought that you preferred athletes until you dated that football player with the odor issue. Lesson learned, right?
The more dates that you go on, especially after separation, the more confidence you will gain. That in turn will make you a happier, more well adjusted person. Once you are happy with you, the chances increase that you will finally meet Mr. Right. Until that day, it’s Mr. Right Now or home alone every Saturday night, it’s your choice. But think about this: do you really want to sit there eating cheese doodles and watching Lifetime movies every weekend while your ex is out partying and living the high life? Do you really want to pick up the Sunday paper and see his face smiling back at you from his engagement announcement photo? Really? Of course you don’t!
The timetable is different for everybody; some people’s hearts heal faster than others. One thing is true for everybody though; dating after a separation is hard. There will be bad dates where you come home and fling yourself on your bed and sob, thinking that you will never love again. Then there will be the good dates where you come home, your lips still quivering from that perfect good night kiss and sigh, thinking that maybe, just maybe there are some good guys out there after all.
Making New Friends – Creative Ways to Find People With Similar Interests
January 29, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
It seems that the older people get, the less friends they have. This can due to the busyness of one’s personal schedule brought about by their careers or their families. If we were to look back at the old days when we were in still in school, we remember how close we were to our friends, what fun we had, and how we relish the enjoyment of things, which for now would probably be silly or too trivial for us to consider.
In spite of that, it is a fact that friends do enrich our lives. Good friends are very hard to find. But once you find them, whether they are of the same gender or not, they are relational treasure chests that you would certainly like to care for and safeguard. But where can you go to find potential lifelong friends with similar interests such as yours?
Here are my suggestions:
1. Pursue a Hobby or a Cause. Whatever activity that is that relaxes you, whether it is needlework, bonsai culture, indoor gardening, pets, traveling, scuba diving or sports in general, there is certainly someone who likes and enjoys what your are into. Do join clubs or communities that are specific to your interest. Initiate conversations and share tips and tricks.
2. Join Online Forums. If you are a technical expert, are on online vendor or affiliate marketer, there are social forums you can be part of. There are also literary forums, that discuss various material and special focus groups. Give inputs that provide value to other people like sharing some technical tips for free. In time, you will be one of the sought after members there.
3. Be part of a church community. They say that the church is the safest place in the world. If you are willing to commit to a local church, you will certainly meet people there who have similar interests since they usually have small groups that are gender-specific and age-group specific. You will most likely find lifelong friends if you are willing to respond to people who try to make friends with you.
4. Try Online Dating. If you have tried all of the above, perhaps you can endeavor into the world of online dating even just for curiosity sake. You are normally asked to specify your interests and hobbies and that alone targets the potential people you will meet. Now, romance is certainly the major objective of people joining, but if you keep your eyes open, potential lifelong friends may be there as well.
Get yourself some new friends. Reconnect with the old ones. Invest time and resources in building significant relationships. Avoid burning bridges. Life is simply too short. Be the friend that you would want to be with.
Senior Christian Dating Expanding The Pool Of Eligible Christian Singles By Going Online
January 27, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
If you are a senior, Christian dating opportunities may seem limited. But don’t despair. Besides the traditional venues to meet religious members of the opposite sex (like Church), the internet has opened up many new doors. Now you can go online to find a partner who shares your values. This article will look at how to choose and use a senior Christian dating site.
There are several different approaches you can follow when selecting a senior Christian dating site. First, you can go to a general site such as EHarmony or Match dot com and select for the age group you are in and the Christian religion. Or, you can go to a Christian only dating site and select the age group you are in. On the flip side, you can go to a senior’s dating site and select for the Christian religion. Finally, you can get very specific and go to a site that is set up specifically for Christian Seniors.
You will be able to try out a senior Christian dating site, but in order to use the full range of services, you will need to join. The fee can range from a few dollars a month to hundreds of dollars a year.
One of the first things you will do is create a personal profile. Some sites have drop down menus and check boxes which make everyone look pretty generic but makes searching for people with similar interests easier. Others allow you to post a long essay about yourself that gives potential dates great insight into you.
You will also be able to upload a photo of yourself. I recommend that you do upload the photo because people with photos receive twenty times more messages than people without them. Some senior Christian dating sites also allow you to upload video. If you have this option, it is advisable to do so.
Your profile, photos, and videos allow people to be drawn to you. But, it also allows people to weed you out. This is actually a good thing. Some of these sites have more than 100,000 members. Remember, you are not looking for many loves, you are looking for one. So, finding someone who you are attracted to and who is attracted to you is paramount.
Many people join single Christian dating sites because they take their faith seriously and want to meet someone who cares about Jesus as much as they do. But be aware that the level of commitment to the church varies among members. So, if your purpose in joining a Christian site is to find someone with the same level of religiousness as you have, you still must do your screening for this.
One of the advantages of a senior Christian dating site over the more general dating pool is that you know in advance that you have something in common. People wouldn’t join such a site specifically if they weren’t looking for a fellow Christian.
If you want to meet other Christians and you are over age 50, join a senior Christian dating site today.
Tips For Maintaining a Meaningful Relationship
January 27, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
What makes a relationship meaningful? It is one that makes you want to become a better person and it is one that drives you to be the best you can be to complement and make the relationship even better. It can begin on a very romantic level but it does not guarantee that it will stay there. In the more committed levels such as marriages and nuclear families it becomes more inherent, but if the tender shoots of being related to each other are not nurtured, that too can fall apart. In very close friendships, it is even much easier to miss out on.
I remember reading somewhere that “marriages are made in heaven but the maintenance but must be done on earth”. I can’t help but agree to whoever said that. I would even toss another log into the fire and say that in all types of relationships, most especially the more meaningful ones, maintenance has to be done. Or just like a new machine that is never oiled or cleaned, it can get very rusty and before we know it, may soon break. Maintenance is indeed necessary especially for relationships.
Here are some tips for maintaining a meaningful relationship.
1. Get to know them more and more. Relationships take time to grow. Engage yourself to get to know him/her/them more and more. Get to know both the major and even trivial things that make them tick? How do they like their coffee or beverages? Do they prefer their eggs sunny side up or scrambled with salt and pepper? What do they most enjoy? What are they most passionate about? What offends them? What brings them to tears? It may take years for you to actually learn about them, but it will be worth the journey!
2. Spend valuable and quality time with each other. Are your best hours spent on your job or hobby such that you are actually too tired to even be polite to him/her/them? Be extra sensitive on what you exert your best efforts on. Save your best energies to engage in your most meaningful relationships.
3. Solicit suggestions and criticisms. Be sincere in wanting to know, in what areas you can be improved as a person. Be prepared because you may not want to know what you will hear. You want to be the best version of yourself.
4. Be quick to apologize. Remind yourself again that you are human and have your own faults. Say sorry out loud and be sincere about it. Apologizing or admitting you have erred never diminishes your value as a person.
5. Love them unconditionally. Do not expect he/she/them to return any favors that you are doing for them. That is not the reason you love them. You just do. Forgive them of their faults. Remind yourself again that he/she/they are human too and have their own faults as well. Be quick to forgive whether they apologize or not.
6. Verbalize your affection regularly. When was the last time you actually said, “I love you”? Say it frequently and mean it.
Meet Someone Special Online – Is It Something Worth Considering?
January 26, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
Almost everyone I know of dreams of finding that special someone to make and remember memories with. And almost all of those persons would dream of spending the rest of their lives with that special someone.
But how do you go about meeting that someone special? Well for one, there is the “numbers game” theory. What that means is the more people you meet, the greater your chances of finding a circle of friends, and also the chances of your coming up with a short list of prospective partners-to-be. So whether or not you are currently undertaking such a pursuit offline, combining it with online alternatives such as joining online dating sites would be a logical consideration.
Let us go back to the numbers game theory. In the offline or face-to-face world, you are limited by physical locations, common places singles normally hang out with and the intersecting spheres of the friendships among acquaintances. Now, if we assume that you have already exhausted all the possible potentials as you know it, then you can most certainly benefit to opening up to the online dating networks.
Among the advantages you would most likely enjoy in the online setting are:
1. The capability to specify the preferred age group, the hobbies and activities you might be interested in;
2. The setting of geographic locations or areas from where you are willing to be associated with;
3. The ability to prepare yourself physically, psychologically and emotionally since you have the option when to initiate, continue or cut communications with referred prospects.
4. The ability to highlight your best features in your profile and featured photo while still remaining truthful;
5. The possibility of getting your closest friend to comment on the profiles and photos to either get an affirmation or solicits their inputs if you wish;
6. The option to communicate with your chosen “prospects” even before you meet; and
7. The option to post your profiles in several but differing online dating sites for maximum exposure.
Among the above advantages, it is worth mentioning that the communication options must be maximized to the full.. This affords you to peek into the personalities of the person you are interested in because you can read between the lines of responses provided by people. You would be able to glimpse whether they are smart, witty, funny, charming or even nerdy with a tendency to be dogmatic.
On the other hand, I am sure that you have also heard about some horror stories of sorts about online dating as well. As always, there are always two sides of every issue. But even with the best sites charging a monthly fee, the benefits still outweigh the risks. You just have to observe caution. Create and use an email address specifically for the online dating. Do not give out your personal contact details like phone numbers and addresses until you are extremely comfortable with the person you are seeing. You may also look into background checks to see if they are really who they say they are.
Online Relationships – Can They Be Just As Significant As Their Offline Counterparts?
January 26, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
We value our relationships. They enrich our lives and experiences. Among these relationships are family, friendships, support groups and especially romantic connections. Now that we are in an era of progressive technologies and astounding connectedness brought about by these advancements, we are now capable of relating to others in ways that used to be limited by imagination.
A few short years ago, we were amazed when emails and instant messaging services began to take root in our everyday lives. It has moved by leaps and bounds since. Take Facebook for instance, it has taken the world by storm and has immediately been the most visited site globally. Another such phenomena is Skype. The system enables online phone conversations with video streaming capabilities on real time. We are no longer limited to PC’s or laptops as smart phones have invaded our culture as well.
Because of this phenomenon of connectivity, people from opposite sides of the world can readily relate in terms of live conversations complete with visual media sharing. One is limited only by the skill of the user and the speed at which their personal computers,mobile devices and whether their online service providers can deliver.
So in this high tech society of ours, can we consider relationships initiated and maintained via online means such as social networking and online dating sites to be just as significant as their offline or traditional counterparts?
In my opinion, the answer would be “yes” depending of course on factors that are critical to all types of relationships whether they are online or offline, romantic or platonic, casual or professional.
Among the factors I would consider to be critical are:
1. Truth and Authenticity. Relationships that begin with and that are based on lies and misrepresentation are bound to fail. If you have an inkling or intuition that something is wrong, trust your instinct and privately endeavour to find out what the facts really are to protect yourself. Refuse to be deceived and play it safe.
2. Timing and Timeliness of responses. When your questions are being shoved, by-passed or ignored, that could be your warning signal. On the other hand, some understandable delays can simply be the result that he or she is truly swamped with other tasks that are truly important at that time.
3. Trustworthiness and Transparency. How much do you really know? Have your verified what you know? Have situations risen when doubts were raised in your mind since some things just don’t add up?
So much of ourselves is invested in both our online and offline relationships. The degree of their significance depends on what we have put in and what we have derived from it in the process. Caution and diligence is something we should always keep handy in our pockets, especially in this age of connectivity.
Online Dating – 7 Reasons Why Many Have Tried It and Are Persistently On It
January 24, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
“Oh, I wouldn’t try online dating! It simply isn’t for me!…”
I am quite sure you have heard that line before. Perhaps it may be too familiar because the idea has crossed your mind several times, but you just kept shoving it off.
Well, there are countless testimonials out there providing both the positive and the negative feedback about their experiences. In this article however, let us look at seven reasons why many do try it and why they are
still into the online dating scene.
1. They are simply too busy to meet other people with their current work schedules. They wake up, go to work, then go back home. Especially when they are in high responsibility positions, they turn in more work hours, rendering them too tired to even engage in a social life. There are also those professions that require grave yard shifts such as those in the medical field, overseas call center operations and the like.
2. They have tried the old routine but it simply did not work for them. They have tried to frequent the social scenery, but have met no one they would truly be interested in. One knows you would have to spend considerably on yourself and in outfits when you do so, but for those who consider that an investment, they have yet to see the results come in.
3. They like the option of being able to select potential dates but not necessarily meet them when they are still uncomfortable. When you are in your private space with your laptop, you can consult your friends (…even a pet cat, or dog ) for immediate and first impressions about the photos and profiles posted. That’s hard to do in an actual live setting.
4. They find it easier to exit the situation online than in face to face encounters. In actual meet-ups, you’d have to change your contact information, or even your place of work just to avoid people you do not like to associate with anymore. Some even go to the extent of obtaining a temporary restraining order. Online however, provided you haven’t actually met, you can end communications subtly and effectively.
5. They have actual friends, family and acquaintances who have tried various services and were happy with it. So, if it worked for them, it might work for you as well, right?
6. They want to multiply the avenues in which they are able to meet others. Who knew that there was this very attractive prospect from a nearby county, an adjacent state or even overseas? The possibilities are endless when you extend your horizons. You are able to meet people whom you would have never met otherwise.
7. They are able to define what they are looking for. It is not exactly a wish list, but it may be the closest that you may get. You are bound to get most of what you specify and that certainly does not hurt!
Online Dating is considered taboo for some but it surely has opened many possibilities and experiences for a lot more. It may be the right time, you consider this as an option.