How to Get a Girl’s Phone Number
April 22, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
There you stand, look at you! Little knots of men standing in the bar, watching the girls drink and dance. You have spotted “the One”and you wish you knew what to do. You do know that if you do not make a move soon, she will either disappear or worse, stroll out of here on the arms of someone more bold. You don’t even know her name yet, but you are already having a jealous break down. What is a poor fellow to do?
First of all, slow down on the drinking. Being approached by a sloshingly drunk man is not at all appealing, no matter how attractive he is ordinarily. Try to ditch your entourage for the moment. Would you want an entire group of your laughing friends to hear you get shot down if this goes poorly? Pop into the bathroom and have a quick peek at yourself. Slick your hair down, but avoid that cheap bathroom cologne. Finally check your break and pop a mint if you need one. Square off your shoulder, suck in your gut and head on out there.
Don’t just stomp over to the target girl and grunt out the first thing that pops into your mind, but steer clear of the tired opening lines. No one is going to fall for the “did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven” line, trust me. Stick with the simple basics, and keep in mind that if you are in a loud bar, meaningful conversation is going to be impossible. Walk up, smile and wait for a smile in return. If she rolls her eyes as soon as you walk up, you have more than likely just been handed the no sale sign, so move on. If you get a smile, then all systems are a go for the next step. Stick out your hand and introduce yourself. Shake her hand gently but firmly. You do not want her to think you are treating her like she will break, but you do not want to hurt her either. Oh, and guys, a hand shake is two gentle shakes, not an opportunity to get some cheap chest jiggling action going. Ask her name, and then use it when speaking to her. Repeating her name shows that you were paying attention and that you are interested in her as a person.
Wait for a lull in the loud music and then take your chance. Lean in, but try not to blatantly peep down her top. Tell her that you noticed her earlier. Be honest and try not to sound too sappy about it. Ask if she would be interested in grabbing a cup of coffee or something with you sometime. If she says yes, then ask her for her phone number, but don’t blow your progress by pulling out some ratty, tacky black book from your back pocket. Some people will program every number they get immediately into their cell phone, but that makes no sense to me. What if you never actually go out? Or worse, what if you go out and have a perfect stinkeroo of a time? It’s best to save programming that number in after a successful date or two. Ask if she has something to write her number on. If she doesn’t grab a napkin and show her how resourceful you can be. No napkins? Stick out your arm and let her write her info there. You get the number, you get a little body contact; just don’t get caught looking down her blouse!
How to Break the Ice in Conversation
April 14, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
Want a worse scenario? Picture yourself on a date with Mr. Hunky McHotbuns, gazing across the table at him and desperately searching for something, anything to say to break the ice and get the conversation started. So what are you going to do? Surely you are not going to allow the night to end in failure and let that luscious creature out of your life without a single word? Come on! Pick a word and say it.
Normally your friends complain that you cannot be shut up and now you have gone mute?
That old “open with a joke” thing can be tricky. First off, can you actually tell a joke? Some people can, and some people cannot so know which one you are before you even try. If you can tell a joke, do you know what kind of humor your companion enjoys? You do not want to open with a joke that steps on someone’s toes or offends in any way.
So exactly how should you break the ice then? Go with a heartfelt and honest compliment. Something safe and innocuous like ‘pretty shirt” or,
“I like your cologne.” Hopefully they will counter with an amusing story about how they ended up with the shirt and the conversation will grow from there.
Asking questions is a good ploy too, but try to avoid any question that can be answered with yes or no. You want to ask simple, direct questions that will require three or more words to answer. Pay attention to the response and see if there are any follow up questions that you could ask to keep conversation flowing. Make sure you keep asking questions about your companion until you stumble on the topic that gets the conversation really going.
Once you have finally gotten the ice broken and the conversation is flowing, try to avoid the talk killers. Skip politics, religion and stories about your crazy Aunt Ruth on a first date. ( You actually might want to keep the Aunt Ruth stories to yourself until just before she makes it through the receiving line at your wedding.) Sports can be an iffy topic if there is the possibility of a sport rivalry between you. Say it’s the Stanley Cup playoffs and you are a die hard Boston Bruin fan while your date is a Wing nut ’til she dies kind of girl, then tempers might flare a little. If you can both agree to disagree, however, sports can be a great way to get a little friendly back and forth banter going.
Food is a fairly safe topic, especially if you are at a restaurant. Ask him about his favorite meal, or what weird thing he used to like a child. By the time your food comes for the meal at hand, you will be chatting and laughing like old friends. Just remember not to eat with your mouth full.
How to Find the Perfect Mate
April 6, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
I wonder how many people’s perfect mate is right now under their very noses, hidden by the word “friend”? You know, that special guy that you turn to every time some “hunky dreamboat” or another has broken your hear,(again) and left you a whimpering, downtrodden mess. But, we get all caught up in the image of what our dream mate looks like and we forget the truly important thing: what our dream mate makes us feel like. If the good lucking guy makes you feel bad, is he really a dream?
Growing up, we all had our teen idols that we had our first crushes and girly lust moments over, but growing up means realizing that sometimes what is on the outside does not hold a candle to what is on the inside. Unfortunately, for some of us, that lesson is a hard learned one, and so we are bound to get our foolish hearts broken a time or two while searching for Mr. Hotstuff so that we can turn him into our dream mate. Got a little secret for you girls: it is not going to happen. Looking for a mate by looks alone is not going to get you nothing but a good looking creep. Now, there are those that get the guys that are not only handsome, but charming, funny and sweet too. Is that you? Lucky thing, I hate your guts!
You really have to know what it is that you want out of life before you know who your dream mate might even be. You have to know your goals, your temperament and for most of all, you have to know yourself before you throw another person into the mix. If you know that you want to be a world traveler for instance, you better not tie your dream wagon to a guy that gets car sick backing out of the driveway. Either the guy has to change or the dream, so you have decide what you will and will not give in on. Everyone has one or two must haves and can’t stands, know what yours are before you even start looking.
For me, a sense of humor is just as important as having air to breath. I need to laugh, preferably every day. I could not live with a seriously uptight, no nonsense kind of man that thought laughing was frivolous. Right there I have ruled out one whole category of men. It used to be that I was sure it would be a big, tall, Russian hockey player that won my heart, ( okay, so I really did fine tune my fantasy man, sue me.) but my thoughts on that have changed dramatically. For one thing, there are not a whole lot of hockey players, Russian or otherwise, in my general area. I could either a)move or b) change the dream. As luck would have it, the dream changed itself for me when I met a fellow hockey fan who is not a tall, Russian hockey player. He is an insurance agent for Pete sake! I would not take ten hockey players for him now; my dream mate has totally changed.
Be flexible. Ease up on yourself. Know that there is a huge difference between fantasy and a dream mate. A fantasy is the one that will never happen, and you can change it daily. The dream mate? Well, that one is changeable too, until you meet the one that truly is your dream mate. I hope you find him soon.
How to Find a Dream Guy
April 2, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
Isn’t it funny that if you walked into a group of women and asked to describe their dream guy the answers would differ wildly? It’s true. There is not universal “dream guy,” and what’s more give those same women ten years and the answer might just be different again. Dreams change and evolve, so does taste and knowledge; accept those facts and you will be much happier.
First things first, ignore your friend that is drooling over the exotic dancer over there. He is either gay or an actor working on his first big break, (read: unemployed), maybe even both. Now, ignore your mother with her “only marry a doctor or lawyer” lines. Young doctors work hideous and long hours, and you know what the issue is with lawyers. You have heard all the lawyer jokes right? Now, the advice you just got from me? Ignore it too. Yes, you heard me, ignore my first piece of advice. That is the key word for you to focus on, your mantra: ignore.
Your friends and family want you to be happy, but they have preconceived notions about what your happiness is going to look like. You have to make that choice for yourself. If you are a wild and crazy, living on the edge kind of girl, then a traditional marriage with a buttoned up kind of guy is not going to be your ideal, is it? The dream guy must fit the dream life and letting someone else write the script is just sad and wrong. Plus it almost never works out in the end.
If you know your own personality, your likes and dislikes and your goals for the future, then you more that likely will know the basic type of dream guy to be in it. Don’t get hung up on that one type though, you might be missing out on more than just a new man, you might be missing out on the love of a lifetime.
Yes, I once had a dream in mind. I would marry the blonde boy down the road and together we would make beautiful blonde babies. That did not happen. The boy met someone else and had the angelic blondes while I moved to another state. The dream changed and so too did the dream guy. I accepted the change and thankfully, found out that you do not base a life decision on hair color, or any potential changes he may bring into your future.
Start your search for the dream guy by taking a good hard look at the men you are dating or friends with now. Are any of them even near to dream guy status? Have you had a serious change of opinion about any of them in recent months? Have you suddenly started looking at your best guy friend in a whole new way lately? Your dream guy is not some buff, glossy haired stud all the time. Sometimes he is the short, funny guy that show up for your first date with flowers and always asks if your hands are warm enough. You never saw yourself falling in love with him, but now you cannot stop thinking about him. The dream changed and so too did the dream guy. Lucky you, sounds like you found him.
Senior Date Just As Hard The Second Time
April 1, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
First of all, you should lower the expectations. Don’t expect your first date to be the person who you spend the rest of your life with. Think of it as a way to meet a new person who you might be friends – or more – with.
Next, choose the location well. Many people think of a date as dinner and a movie. But this may be too much for a first senior date. Instead, meet for coffee or lunch. That keeps things on a lighter level. More importantly, it keeps the date short.
If you share common interests, that makes a great first senior date. For instance, if you both enjoy art, go to an opening at an art museum. You will find it much easier to talk when you have a natural common interest in front of you.
Avoid making a date for someplace where you will be alone. A picnic by a secluded creek can be very romantic, but it’s not a good idea for a first date.
But, going to a movie, play, or music event, even though it is crowded, may not be a good idea either. That’s because it doesn’t give you a chance to talk.
You should always arrive at your destination in separate vehicles so that either of you can leave if things get uncomfortable. Also, let a friend or family member know where you are going and who you are going with. It is unfortunate, but these days, it is important to be safe.
After a first senior date, you have to decide whether to see the person again. If the first date was enjoyable and the companionship seems good, by all means go out again. If you were at all uncomfortable, listen to your instincts.
Don’t feel that you have to go out on second dates just because you went out on the first one. Life’s too short at this point to go on meaningless dates. It may also prevent you from investing the emotional energy into finding someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life.
Yes, a senior date is just as nerve racking as a high school date. But first dates remain first dates whatever the age. Go out with confidence, hoping for romance, and committed to having fun whatever the outcome.